When Thompson hit seventy he decided to change his lifestyle completely so that he could live longer. He went on a strict diet, he jogged, he swam, and he took sunbaths. In just three months,

When Thompson hit seventy, he decided to change his lifestyle completely so that he could live longer. He went on a strict diet—no sugar, no fried foods, and definitely no fun. He jogged every morning, swam every afternoon, and took sunbaths to soak up vitamin D.

In just three months, he had transformed! His wrinkles softened, his belly flattened, and he had the energy of a man half his age. He felt amazing.

One day, as he was jogging down the street, feeling like a new man, he caught his reflection in a store window and thought, "Wow, I actually look… good!"

As he crossed the street, still admiring his new physique, BAM! A bus came out of nowhere and flattened him.

When he arrived at the Pearly Gates, he looked up at Saint Peter, outraged. "What the heck?! I was doing everything right! I was healthy! I was fit! Why did this happen to me?"

Saint Peter flipped through his book, then looked at Thompson with an apologetic shrug. "Ohhh, sorry about that. We didn’t recognize you."