Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an

Yesterday, I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet, and as I was waiting in the checkout line, a woman behind me tapped my shoulder and asked, “Oh, do you have a dog?”

What did she think I had, an alligator? But being the polite person I am, I smiled and said, “No, ma’am, I don’t have a dog. I’m starting the Purina Diet again.”

She looked at me, confused. “The Purina Diet?”

I nodded seriously. “Yes, it’s perfect for weight loss. You just fill your pockets with kibble and eat a handful every time you feel hungry. It’s high in protein, packed with vitamins, and best of all, it keeps your hair looking shiny!”

Now she was staring at me, completely horrified. So I kept going. “Oh, and it works FAST! Last time I lost 15 pounds in two weeks!”

Her jaw dropped. “You actually eat dog food?”

I sighed and shook my head. “Well, I did… until I ended up in the hospital.”

She gasped. “Oh my gosh! What happened? Food poisoning?”

I shook my head again. “Nope. Got hit by a car while sniffing a fire hydrant.”

At that point, she grabbed her groceries and bolted to another checkout lane. I think I made her day a little more exciting. 😆