A portly middle-aged man boards his plane to fly from New York to Toronto. On reaching his seat, he is surprised to see a parrot strapped in on the seat next to him. Once the flight takes

 A portly, middle-aged man boards his plane from New York to Toronto. As he reaches his seat, he’s surprised to see a parrot strapped into the seat next to him.

Curious but too tired to ask questions, he sits down and gets comfortable.

Once the flight takes off, the man signals for the flight attendant.

Man: “Excuse me, miss, could I get a cup of coffee?”

Before the flight attendant can respond, the parrot squawks loudly:

Parrot: “Hey, sweetheart! Get me a whiskey! And make it snappy!”

The flight attendant frowns but nods. A few minutes later, she returns—with a whiskey for the parrot but no coffee for the man.

The man clears his throat.

Man: “Uh, excuse me? I asked for a coffee?”

Parrot: “Yeah, and I asked for a whiskey. Guess who got what they wanted? Ha!”

Annoyed, the man rings the call button again.

Man: “Miss, could I please have a coffee?”

The parrot interrupts again:

Parrot: “Hey, lady! Another whiskey! And get some peanuts this time, you lazy sack of feathers!”

The flight attendant, now clearly irritated, storms off. She returns with another whiskey for the parrot—but still no coffee for the man.

The man is fuming.

So he decides: If rudeness works for the parrot, maybe it'll work for him too.

Man: “HEY! Where’s my coffee?! What kind of lousy service is this? Get moving, lady!”

At that moment, the pilot hears the commotion and sends two big security guards down the aisle.

Without a word, they grab both the man and the parrot, drag them to the emergency exit, and throw them out of the plane!

As they’re falling, the parrot turns to the man and says:

“Y’know, for someone who doesn’t know how to fly, you sure got a big mouth.”