Conscious of the need to move with the times, Satan decided to sell off a large part of his stock of temptations. He placed an advertisement in the newspaper and spent the whole of the next
Conscious of the need to move with the times, Satan decided to sell off a large part of his stock of temptations.
He placed an advertisement in the newspaper and spent the whole of the next week fielding calls from potential buyers.
The advertisement read:
"Satan’s Annual Sale – All Temptations Must Go!
Everything must be cleared out!
Steals on Greed, Lust, Envy, and Pride – Call Now!"
Soon, buyers from all over showed up. Satan greeted them eagerly.
The first buyer was a business tycoon who wanted to buy a bulk stock of Greed and Pride. Satan quickly gave him a deal, saying, “That’ll be half off, but be warned—these are powerful temptations. You may find yourself wanting more!”
Next, a politician showed up, asking for Lust and Deception—perfect for election season. Satan gave him a generous “buy one, get one free” offer.
Then, a bored millionaire came in and asked about the seven deadly sins. Satan grinned and said, "Ah, a package deal! Everything you need for an empty, self-absorbed life."
But the real surprise came when a monk arrived, looking for humility and charity. Satan stared at him, a little confused, and said, “Oh, we don’t usually carry those. But I do have some great deals on ‘Temptations of the Flesh’ in aisle three.”
The monk raised an eyebrow. "No thanks, I'll stick with my current stock."
As the sale continued, Satan couldn’t help but notice how quickly his inventory was dwindling. By the end of the day, all his best items were gone, and only a few measly temptations like Procrastination and Stubbornness were left.
He sat back in his chair, feeling satisfied with the day’s work. Just as he was about to close up shop, a phone rang.
"Hello?" Satan answered.
“I saw your ad. I’d like to buy some of your best temptations. What do you have left?"
Satan paused for a moment before responding, "Well, we’ve got Procrastination, and—oh, wait. It looks like it just sold out."
"I’ll take it!" said the voice on the other end. "I’ll deal with it tomorrow."
