An elderly Scottish woman is driving her husband to a doctor's appointment. A police officer pulls her over for speeding. He approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her

 An elderly Scottish woman is driving her husband to a doctor's appointment. A police officer pulls her over for speeding. He approaches the vehicle and attempts to explain that he stopped her.

"Ma'am, do you know how fast you were going?" the officer asks, eyeing her from the side of his sunglasses.

The woman looks at him, clearly a bit flustered, and replies, "Och, no, officer! I don’t know how fast I was going, but I do know I’m a bit behind schedule!"

The officer raises an eyebrow. "Behind schedule?" he repeats, a bit puzzled.

"Aye, I’m supposed to be at the doctor’s office, and my husband here," she gestures toward the man beside her, "he’s been complaining about his back for weeks! It’s bad, officer—real bad. I’m just trying to get him there before he starts complaining about his legs too!"

The officer looks over at the husband, who is sitting in the passenger seat with his arms crossed, looking incredibly grumpy. He sighs, "Well, if it’s that bad, I suppose I should let you go, but you’re still speeding."

The woman suddenly smiles mischievously and says, "I’ll slow down, officer… as soon as I get him to the doctor! But, if you don’t mind, could you give him a ticket? Maybe that’ll get him to stop complaining!"

The officer chuckles, and the husband, now wide-eyed, quickly mutters, "I swear, she’s been trying to get me a ticket for years!"

The officer laughs, "Alright, ma’am, just slow it down and get him to that doctor!"

As they drive away, the woman winks at her husband and says, "See, dear? It’s always better when the police are on our side."

The husband mutters under his breath, "I’d be more convinced if you weren’t already plotting your next move to get me to the doctor!"