Two old friends caught up for lunch. Jake and Oliver hadn't seen each other for over twenty years. "How have you been?" Oliver asked. "I've been good" Jake said, ordering from the menu "I'm married with

Oliver chuckled. "Sounds like you've got your hands full, old man! Me, I went a different route." He paused dramatically, stirring his coffee. "I decided to become an inventor."

Jake's eyebrows shot up. "An inventor? Seriously? That's amazing! What sort of things do you invent? Flying cars? Self-tying shoelaces? A perpetual motion machine that also makes toast?"

Oliver puffed out his chest, a self-satisfied grin spreading across his face. "Even better, my friend! I specialize in making people incredibly wealthy without them lifting a finger. It's truly revolutionary!"

Jake leaned forward, intrigued. "No kidding? How do you do that? Is it some sort of advanced algorithm? A secret stock market strategy? Or do you just have a really effective money-printing press in your basement?"

Oliver lowered his voice, looking around to make sure no one was listening. "It's a simple, yet brilliant device. I invented a machine that can identify exactly where you need to stand to be hit by a bus carrying an uninsured billionaire."

Jake stared at him, his fork clattering onto his plate. "Wait. You invented a machine to help people get hit by buses?!"

"Precisely!" Oliver beamed. "And not just any buses, mind you. Buses driven by uninsured drivers, carrying billionaires. Think of the personal injury lawsuits! The settlements! It's a goldmine! My clients have been absolutely thrilled, once they've recovered, of course."

Jake was speechless. He slowly picked up his fork, then put it down again. "Oliver," he said, his voice a strained whisper, "that's... that's simultaneously the most horrifying and the most hilariously brilliant thing I've ever heard. Have you... have you actually used it yourself?"

Oliver took a long sip of his coffee, his eyes twinkling. "Let's just say, Jake, that my next invention is a fully automated, voice-activated back scratcher for when I'm recovering from my next 'investment opportunity.' And perhaps a slightly better health insurance plan. You know, just in case the billionaire is having a really bad day."

Jake just shook his head, a bewildered smile forming on his face. "You haven't changed a bit, Oliver. Still trying to get rich in the most ridiculously convoluted way possible. I'll stick to my mortgage and my sanity, thank you very much. Though," he mused, "is your machine available for lease?"