Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the exciting happenings in the bustling city below. They figured it was foolproof – what could a 10-year-old possibly see that would be so captivating it would occupy him for a solid fifteen minutes? Oh, how naive they were.

"Now, Timmy," Bill instructed, trying to sound casual while ushering his son onto the small balcony, "your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be our eyes and ears. Report on everything! The cars, the people, any interesting squirrels… leave no stone unturned!"

Marla gave Timmy an overly enthusiastic thumbs-up, trying to hide her desperate anticipation. Timmy, surprisingly, saluted back, taking his role as "Balcony Reconnaissance Officer" very seriously.

No sooner had they closed the balcony door and started their… endeavor, a small voice piped up from outside.

"Dad! Mom! There's a guy in a bright red hat walking a poodle shaped like a cloud! And wait, he's talking to a lamppost!"

Bill and Marla froze. Bill whispered, "Just ignore him, he'll get bored."

A minute later, Timmy's voice, now louder and laced with genuine wonder, cut through the thin glass. "Mom! Dad! There's a woman juggling five apples and a raw chicken! And she just dropped the chicken! Oh no, a pigeon got it!"

Marla stifled a giggle, but Bill was starting to sweat. "He's really committed to this, isn't he?" he mumbled.

Just as they were about to give up entirely, Timmy's voice boomed, full of gravitas usually reserved for war correspondents. "BREAKING NEWS! A man in a dinosaur costume just tried to pay for a hot dog with monopoly money! The vendor looks confused! This is not a drill, I repeat, not a drill!"

Bill and Marla finally burst out laughing, their romantic interlude utterly derailed. Bill opened the balcony door, shaking his head. "Alright, Timmy, mission accomplished. You can come in now, before you witness the end of civilization as we know it."

Timmy walked in, eyes wide. "You guys missed everything! It was epic! So, what did you guys do while I was out there?"

Bill and Marla exchanged a look, then Bill just sighed. "Oh, you know, Timmy. Just… tidying up. Very, very quickly."