During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?" "Well..." said the director, "we fill up a

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?"

"Well..." said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then offer the person a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket, and ask them to empty the tub."

The visitor chuckled confidently. "Oh, I get it. A sane person would use the bucket because it's the biggest, right?"

The director smiled politely and said, "No, a sane person would just pull the plug. Would you like your room on the first floor or the second?"

The visitor blinked, suddenly unsure if he should laugh or start re-evaluating every life decision that brought him to this moment.

“But wait,” the visitor said nervously, “what if someone just drinks the water to empty the tub?”

The director paused, then scribbled something in a notebook.

“What’s that for?” asked the visitor.

“Just noting we may need a hydration therapist on staff.”

Just then, a patient in a bathrobe zoomed by on a mop like it was a motorcycle, yelling, “To infinity… and the laundry room!”

The director didn’t flinch. “That’s Bob. He thinks he’s Buzz Mop-year. Harmless. Except during waxing days.”

The visitor, now thoroughly bewildered, said, “So… how do you know you’re not crazy?”

The director smiled. “Simple. I am crazy. But I run the place. It’s like being the captain of a pirate ship—someone’s gotta steer.”

A voice called from down the hallway, “Director! Someone’s painted googly eyes on all the vending machines again!”

“Let them be,” the director replied. “The snacks were starting to judge people.”