"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America,

"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America. But then again, you also made it so everyone’s mom now calls you when their computer freezes, or when they can’t find the ‘any’ key."

Bill looks puzzled, “But... I didn’t create those problems!”

The voice on the other end chuckles, “True. But you did create Windows, which is the ultimate test of patience and sanity. You’ve launched more reboots than a politician’s campaign. And don’t get me started on the ‘blue screen of death.’”

Bill, now understanding, sighs, “Alright, alright, I get it. But surely, I did more good than bad, right?”

The voice pauses, then says, “Well, Bill, I’ll tell you what. For the amount of time people spend staring at the loading bar, I’m giving you a ‘buffering’ pass. You’re not going straight to Hell… but let’s just say your afterlife will involve a lot of ‘updating.’”

Bill groans. “Fine, I guess I’ll take it… but no more updates without warning!”